Part Two: A Heart Attack

PART TWO: Oops! Something Stupid - A HEART ATTACK!

The days and nights had become routine ... so routine that boredom reared its ugly head (which is highly unusual). Wood, fur, amateur/bush radio and let’s not neglect the dreams – dreams of what was and perhaps what could have been. If I recall correctly, the only break in my tedious existence was reading. I went through all the "First Americans Series" –all ten! Next were Jack Whyte’s novels on medieval Britain and young King Arthur... bless both these authors – they kept me sane during this time!

Anyone who has lived at length in the woods knows that the physical toll on one’s body is extreme. Sprains, strains and light fractures all go undiagnosed and uncured ... remember when I sewed up my arm?! You just live with the pain. If you are lucky enough you might have pain meds on hand ... so you pop a couple and carry on (you have to or you won't have winter wood!)

When I first noticed the chest-ache, I scoffed it off as just another chest/rib bruise or strain. I recall rising at night with the discomfort but it would subside after two or three minutes. Life went on and eventually the time for my break in town arrived. Now the discomfort came at a regular basis; three or four times a day. I did mention it to the GP who appeared unconcerned ... after all I’ve had a chronic G.I. condition for years now.

Then abruptly the chest ache and discomfort changed to pain that shot down my left arm. (Using the toothache scale with a bad toothache being a ten - this was a nine!) But again it would subside after two or three minutes. Now the attacks were approximately six or seven times per day. I approached our local doctors who IN THEIR INFINITE WISDOM diagnosed them as panic attacks ... nothing would show up on the ECG ... they did give me Nitro but this did not help. What changed the course of my illness and probably saved my life was that the attacks rocketed to approximately ten per day. I faxed my doctor in the city who informed me that I needed to get down to see him immediately. That same day I saw the cardiologist and finally a stress test revealed the problem. Of course I had to cause a scene in the Emergency Dept. While hooked up to all the monitors I had an attack; it’s kinda funny to hear your own “Code Blue” and observe the controlled panic on the faces of all the staff. I do recall telling everyone to settle down – like I was an old hat at this! I even managed to give the x-ray dept. shit ... I told them they would trigger another attack; but then - what do I know? I taught them all a lesson and scared the shit right out of them (don’t imagine they have many "Code Blues" in their department.)

In a matter of one hour I was laid out in the cardiac unit where an angiogram was done revealing two blockages ... yes I pulled another attack while the stent was being inserted. I observed the regular saw-tooth waveform change its characteristics – WOW! Talk about cool stuff !!

I recall telling Heidi, "I’m in a bit of shit here - you owe me ... so help me out you little thief!" (Don’t laugh at me - if our first prime minister can discuss the nation’s welfare with his dead dog, then I certainly can discuss my welfare with my live one!!).

Question: So if each blockage is considered a heart attack ... like do I have some record at ooooooh about 80–100? Yeah Mikey! (Guinness Book of Records where are you?)
The outcome? Well anybody with a half a brain - or half a heart - can conclude I damaged the ol’ ticker. How badly? Well let’s just say I manage to always flunk the old stress test horribly – much to the cardiologist’s disappointment (disgust). I can walk a full 100 yards and have to stop for a breather and a smoke break. So there we go ... Mike is finally out of action – "hee-hee-hee" ... is that not the way insane men laugh on most TV programs?

Did I bring all these events down upon myself? Partially - there is a history of heart disease on one side of the family, plus our Northern diet was gross! A lot of fried foods – all floating in animal fats. No fresh fruits or vegetables and let’s not forget the copious amount of delicious pastries Mike used to bake. Have I changed? Somewhat. I cut the fried junk, the grease. No more pastry treats ... but if you ask me whether I have quit living to live - No!!! I still enjoy the evening tacos, bacon/eggs and of course I still smoke – but now all in moderation. LASTLY ...lets not forget my Type A personality and the many years I super-abused my body in the music industry. The sixteen hour days, the anxiety/stress, the countless years at "Moes" and let’s not forget the Groupies. Perhaps only now I am normal!!!

Thus ends this CLASSIC short chapter. Life After a heart attack? I bought my own BP kit and check my pressure occasionally. Then there are meds, meds, meds. And paranoia! Yes, I continue to have chest discomfort on a regular basis. Why? I don’t know and the majority of times don’t care; I have learned to live with it. The annoying part of this sub-existence is awaking each and every morning wondering if this is the day I will “Lift Off”.

Many of you have inquired via email as to what happened to Heidi. Please stay with me; your question will be answered shortly. It will be a difficult chapter for me to write. After all, was she not just another dog? Yes ... Heidi was just another dog who gave her life protecting this place and me. HAVE A GOOD DAY.

damned cold!

minus 40!

... yet the biggest emergency firewood tree still stands!

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- what was fun was writing that interactive fantasy-fiction with my new found grand-daughters. ( weird...a part of it came true!)
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- Fisher at the door - Hello fifty dollars (hope it didn’t kill Kitty)!
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- minus 40 again ... crap- crap. wood cutter

- I can not keep up carrying and cutting from the woods in minus 40.
- can only work 10 -15 minutes outside at these temps.
- an Ebay question for you all to ponder... why are all handgun/holster owners down South polite gentlemen and women?
- THE WORSE situation? Our own Canadian laptop buyer/sellers ... the majority seem to be PIGS ... ASSHOLES!

- today a balmy minus 20. Whew !! Never thought I would say that’s warm.
- how long could I keep up at those temps? Probably a week. Would I have called a plane? Never! Why not? Well let’s just say, "Remember Leningrad".
- set a trap in veranda ...four hours later ... A marten ! (Mike’s in-house trap line!).
- remember my three laptops that went missing from Ebay? It’s amazing how fast they were found when the RCMP and Ebay security were brought in ... the sellers' answering machines were turned off, their phones were answered, emails were flowing and answered. Even private cell phone numbers were given out ... I had all three units in La Ronge within 10 days.
- I asked No-Name Kitty this AM if she would like to go into town for her remaining years ... to live on KFC/PIZZA/PORK CHOPS ... get her cholesterol level up and die from a bad heart (or succumb to a wild town dog). She never answered.
- I got talked out of those plus P loads - better to be safe then sorry.
- minus 10 and I believe I will change into shorts! (What do I look like in shorts? Easy...a cross between Mr. Burns from the Simpsons and Ozzie Osborne !!!)
- Sook-Lin Lee/CBC Radio/DNTO producer/Grant Lawrence ... you have fallen to the level of child molesters...how could you Sook-Yin Lee? As a pioneer in Western Canada’s music industry I respected you and thought you were cool ! You embarrassed and humiliated that old woodsman who with honor, respect and trust showed you his life - his ways - and in turn he got the likes of Asshole Grant... satire gone wrong –BULLSHIT! Where was the producer who could have easily stopped it from airing (it was a taped program)? Sook-Yin Lee you have enough clout – you could have stopped it! I’M JUST SO - SO DISAPPOINTED IN ALL OF YOU !!!
- damned cat is getting salmon and I get soup.
- back to minus 40 ... up yours Homer Simpson.
- wonder how many bodies are being carried over Thompson Lake on the North/South route to Iraq from the U.S.? (at least 10 flights a day.)
- fried potatoes for lunch ... maybe all my major vessels will get clogged and put me out of my misery!!!
- very, very pleasant people down South ... a lot of Canadians could use a lesson from them. HELLO to Doug/Chrisi and Brian who included an Xmas gift for me in his shipment!
- Kitty continues to get my salmon - told her she has to be in top form in case the DEVIL comes back ... she’s practicing all her cat moves.
survival suit

- another 4 in. of snow.
- another 3 in. of snow.
- another 4 in. of snow.
- the Secret Society of the Shoo-Bears - ooooooh sounds scary, mysterious ... doesn’t it? Apparently a well- known Sask. CBC radio-host is a member... they claim they go on these canoe pilgrimages but we know better, don’t we ? And I bet Tom Roberts of La Ronge (Sultan of Radio) is somehow involved in all this !
- speaking of secret societies ...Master Dave Webmaster and I are contemplating something like the Masons or perhaps like Homer Simpson’s Stonecutters... so how about the Walleyebangers or perhaps the Shriveling Prostates?
- unsure if today is Xmas Eve.
- if I can just get ahead by a few hours on wood, perhaps I could get the old Wisconsin/alternator running as a back-up.
- have I lost the battle?... perhaps the battle but not the war.
- will work by flashlight on the Wisconsin ... have to dig it out of 3 feet of snow.
- Dave, the only reason that giant Birch is still standing is I’m scared it will twist on me and crush the filleting shed, or the smoke house, or the boat !
- if it’s any consolation, any excess fat I had is gone. I’m back to being the "Grinning Skull" or would you prefer " Tombstone Mike"?
- another 3- 4 in. of snow ... I’m losing folks.

CHRISTMAS EVE CRISIS !!!
- I’m sorry but I just don’t want to re-live that day but I will say this; for approximately two days I had no batteries (no power), my power plant gave out, my splitting axe handle broke, it was minus 40. Then a blizzard arrived and the little wet wood I had (about 10 logs) would not burn; I ran out of propane and the backup Coleman gas unit would not work. I was also out of heart meds.

Christmas Day

....and still cold

Jared knew I was in deep shit when I didn’t pick-up my emails. I had one battery at 11 volts ... he came on the commercial HF radio system and we had communication. The manager, Chris Rule, gave us permission to operate again on their frequencies (who says there is no God!). I worked each problem out - the first being fire and warmth, next was cooking and meals. Who says you can’t cook on a wood heater ! The most delicious meal ever was a steak and two baked potatoes - all done inside the wood heater on Xmas day. A day later I dragged the power plant outside; I left it in the cold and next AM it started ! Yes, an engine that apparently likes the cold. Did I learn anything? YEAH THE REPETITION of MURPHY’S LAW !! (It’s still around and does need updates) … MOTHER NATURE IS A TOTAL BITCH and on "Angel Wings!"
- is life back to normal at Thompson Lake ? No, but I’m slowly getting there.

THE MERCY FLIGHT!
As I baked my giant turkey I reflected on the Cessna 185 piloted by Jonathon Proulx that had arrived with my heart meds and supplies. In my 20 years of bush life I have never witnessed a scene such as this. The best I could do was find 300 feet for him that was slush/overflow free (in 2 feet of snow). I observed him circling - I had marked his meager area with a snow-shoed arrow. He touched down with streams and clouds of snow and water flying in all directions, then proceeded to skim the surface before lifting again - to my dismay. I pondered as he circled out of sight – what now, Mike? Then I heard him coming in again following he same procedure ... it was then I realized he was building a trail - a road for himself - to get out. The plane was unloaded under the most extreme and harsh conditions I have ever experienced. After approximately an hour and a half, I thanked Jonathon and whispered a silent prayer ... his skis now were frozen in the slush and covered with ice. He finally broke free and my 300 feet proved not quite long enough … but he did manage to pull it up and away.

P.S. The elder trappers in and around our area have stated this is the worst winter in memory.

HOPEFULLY WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

Mike
Thompson Lake - Dec.31 2004

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